We move forward. We live a life of integrity. We do not become what has been thrown at us. We stand for our republic, for freedom, for our constitutional rights. We do not hate like we have been hated. We respect the office of the president unlike those who have denigrated it over the past 4 years. We are still One Nation under God. A time for prayer for healing and unity. God is in control. Justice will be delivered in the correct time. We are not the judge or the jury. God Bless the United States of America.
Today is a moment to remember rebirth. New beginnings. A fresh start. Self awareness. Today is my 9th AA birthday. Usually it is a post filled with gratitude, thanking those who have helped me along the way. A day to reminisce about the seismic changes in my life. A day to thank God almighty for leading me out of my despair and darkness. While I am constantly thankful for these things, today I have a different perspective. One that has developed in 2020.
For those who struggle with an addiction, depression, isolation and low self esteem, 2020 has been for many unnamed, a death sentence. The darkness that can surround those who need people and purpose to keep them on step with their program have been kicked aside by the very leaders that are suppose to protect us. For their hunger for power and control, children, the elderly and those challenged with their demons are ignored.
I am fortunate. At my lowest point in my life, I had someone reach out to me. Tell me their story. And cared enough to take me to a meeting. A place where everyone was on the same level. A place safe to confront our pasts, share our fears and come to grips with what it would take to turn our lives around. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in the same place with the circumstance and control that has been put on the human race today. I don’t know that I could have recovered.
What I have to say today is this. When someone gets mad because I am not wearing a mask at the right time, or not practicing social distancing the way the “experts” say we must even in their hypocrisy, I say look at it from not just your perspective, but from that of those that have been forgotten. Those that struggle in loneliness, recovery or worse, addiction and depression. Human contact is their life blood.
I have been fortunate to have a strong circle. I survive and thrive because of my tribe. I see their struggles, feel their pain and wish I had the power to lift them up. All we can do is gather together. Be a listening ear. Be a empathic sounding board free of judgement.
Masking up and isolation, for the vast majority of our population is oppression. For those in recovery or trying to break free of addiction, it can be worse then getting this virus.
If you are struggling, find an AA meeting. The AA family is a caring compassionate group. No judgement. No expectations other than a desire to quit drinking and help those that have not been helped yet.
My contact is firstname.lastname@example.org Need a resource or help? Please reach out.
Step Twelve “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
So much is happening. Success, crisis, sickness, hate, growth, fatigue. Beyond human understanding. Part of a battle between good and evil. On the surface, it appears ideological, right verses left, red verses blue. But deeper than this, it is the battle of good verses evil.
I am not calling anyone person or group evil. Many might interpret it that way. But what is happening before our very eyes is from a war beyond our comprehension. Never could such a divide and hatred come from ideology alone. This is the super natural battle for souls. Battle for freedom. Battle for a way of life. Battle for our eternal salvation.
I stop today and step back. I evaluate what I can control, or think I can control. But in doing so, I am humbled by my mortality. By the fact that I am truly in control of nothing except for one thing. My faith. Because without faith, the world appears hopeless. Anxiety rules via sickness, insomnia, despair, depression.
God is in control. That is where my Hope lies. That is what I can control. My faith. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
Pray today and everyday for strengthening of faith. Because in faith we are given Peace that surpasses all human understanding. With this Peace we are given the ability to see the pain of others and weather this storm which will pass. We, in faith, are a beacon to those who are lost in the darkness of today.
The old saying used when a final event or comment pushed someone over the edge was “The Straw that Broke the Camels Back”. Many times in our lives we we can see the straw coming, the person or event that will cause us to go over the edge. Many times in the end, we could have averted the back breaking outcome.
Then there are those times when the straw does a surprise attack on us. We didn’t see it coming. It was an error or mistake that was just a case of circumstances beyond our control. Not always even intended to cause conflict or harm. But it still happens. Those straws, while rare I believe, are a true test of our character, our maturity, our resolve. Some love to jump on those moments; ones that happen accidentally and use them to bolster their own ego, or feed into their fears. It is an opportunity for those who are small to belittle those who are victim of the surprise straw attack which they have no real context of their life or challenges.
In those moments, moments that can embarrass us, surprise us, challenge us, we have choices to make. They may remind us of past failures. They may inflame self doubt. They very easily can break our back or will to live. The danger of the surprise straw attack.
And then again, with a belief that there is no such thing as failure, only learning, we are given the opportunity to repeat a past lesson. A message that we have not fully received. An opportunity to rise like a phoenix from the ashes again. Fresh starts only truly happen when all the lessons are completed.
This is the true beauty of the the straw the camel didn’t see coming. A chance to complete the lesson and move on in our greatness and calling.
Tension. That to me describes the current state of affairs. Our beautiful land is filled with anxiety, depression, fear, hate, and feelings of loss of control. Our lives are filled with uncertainty. People who we thought were are friends, some of our family, our leaders have shown what we believe is an ugly and unreal side. It could seem hopeless.
Perspective and pause give us a chance to put all into context. Fear drives all. Those who wish to control us, stir the fear. The only way to conquer fear is to confront it head on. Not by confrontation necessarily, but from an educated point of view. From historical comparison and by taking a look deep inside at ourselves and asking if what is being said truly matches our heart.
Observation is a powerful tool. Sympathy and empathy can assist us to work to understand another persons fears. Prayer for all including for discernment is critical.
I love our country, my life and all of my blessings God has bestowed on me. My life is far from perfect. I create my own conflict and trials. No one else does. I am responsible for my actions good and bad. Personal responsibility lies on us alone.
When others are acting out in ways we do not approve, the best way to foster change is not by debate, argument or direct confrontation, but by our actions. Actions seen and unseen. Actions of restraint. Actions of love and compassion.
It is not about winning the debate. It is about positive influence. When we are gone, people will remember the life we led quietly more that the victories won at any expense.
Today, more than ever, we need to live our influence. Live constructive not destructive. Live love not hate. We are given the gift to disagree, but no where is it written we have should live a life of hate.
Today, tomorrow, someday. In the end, it is not where we have traveled, but who we have influenced that matters. Our journey is comprised of the routine; problems, solutions, victories and defeats. Through all of this, our actions, words or silence are observed my a nearly infinite number of eyes. Do we leave a lasting positive impression? Have we cause a pause in someone’s life that changes their course for the better? We will find out someday when the video is replayed at our heavenly home.
The answer might seem to be good intentions. Not a great or durable driving surface for a car or life. Good intentions can be misinterpreted. Good intentions can lead to disappointment. Good intentions are the stuff over promise and under deliver is made from. Good intentions are words not actions.
What is a better pavement? Actions. Live your road with actions. Which are intentions fulfilled.
Food for thought. Over scheduled, wanting something for others that they don’t want with the same conviction, is really nothing more that good intentions with a false premise.
Think before you intend. It will save a ton of wasted energy.
It happens everyday, sometimes it encompasses the whole day. I can say from my own experience, it is usually wrong and holds back my growth.
How do I overcome my self doubt? Prayer, people and review.
Pray is the most powerful weapon to fight doubt. God has no desire for us to live in fear and failure. He is always listening. But am I listening to Him? That is the key.
People can either feed my doubt or walk me through it. Those that tear us down, criticize and do not offer support are only keeping is from moving forward. Those how listen, empathize or sympathize, offer love and compassion and accept us as we are give us the lift we need to over come.
When I review how the ability I doubt has performed in the past, many times it shows the false reality of my doubting.
We need God, people who authentically support us and unbiased review.