In the End

The End of the road

Today, tomorrow, someday. In the end, it is not where we have traveled, but who we have influenced that matters. Our journey is comprised of the routine; problems, solutions, victories and defeats. Through all of this, our actions, words or silence are observed my a nearly infinite number of eyes. Do we leave a lasting positive impression? Have we cause a pause in someone’s life that changes their course for the better? We will find out someday when the video is replayed at our heavenly home.

We are influencers. #orangeistruth

What is the road paved with?

The answer might seem to be good intentions. Not a great or durable driving surface for a car or life. Good intentions can be misinterpreted. Good intentions can lead to disappointment. Good intentions are the stuff over promise and under deliver is made from. Good intentions are words not actions.

What is a better pavement? Actions. Live your road with actions. Which are intentions fulfilled.

Food for thought. Over scheduled, wanting something for others that they don’t want with the same conviction, is really nothing more that good intentions with a false premise.

Think before you intend. It will save a ton of wasted energy.


Do not accept the propaganda

We all have fear. Period. It is a struggle to honestly face our fears. Others project their fears on us which makes it even more difficult to overcome our own.

But the truth is that when others lash out, stand firm in your own love of self and refuse to acknowledge them, quietly yet with conviction.

With every acknowledgement that we are not are others sometimes portray us because of their fears, we grow stronger, more empathic and peaceful.

We are all highly valuable. We all deserve unconditional acceptance. Don’t settle for anything less.


It’s already there

As we live today the solution has been in place for our future problems. We only need to have unyielding faith that is done. We waste so much time and energy on what we cannot control. Instead if we focus on today, the problems of tomorrow will solve themselves. They have already been solved in the proper time and method. Worry changes nothing except the joy and gratitude we have for the now.



Judge people by where they came from

… Judge people by where they’re going

Choices come with responsibility

… People can’t be trusted to make good choices


… Affiliate

Redemption is possible

… Past actions define the future

People with authority should be held accountable

… People with authority should do what they want

It’s most efficient to slot people into tracks early

… There’s potential in everyone

Because I said so

… Let’s figure it out

Talent is inborn

… Skill is earned

Investing in culture change pays off

… People are separate from the culture

Push people away

… Pull people closer

Conserve it for later

… Use it all

Wait to get picked

… Pick yourself

It takes a village

… You can do it by yourself

Look forward

… Look back


… Create


… Safety


… Follow

Open doors for others

… Take what you can

As long as it’s not against the law it’s fine

… Do what’s right


… Governance


… Now



Fear is the Great Deceiver

#fear is the great #deceiver. When fear grips you and smothers your confidence and fuels self doubt, then is the time to move forward toward the darkness and take back victory over the false pretenses created by past experiences. You are greatness, seize the day! #jayjasper #jayjasperassociates #orangeistruth

The Where The Who and the When

Being positive and believing anything we set our mind to can happen is a great ideal to have. We speak our affirmations, we write them down, we look ourselves in the mirror and say the “I am’s”, all is well and good. But where do we turn when self doubt creeps in and fear silently overcomes us? Who do we trust to share our vulnerabilities with? So many say they are our confidante’s, but who they are? And when is that time to step out of our comfort zone and ask for a listening ear, for the wisdom of others, to share of fears of failure, inadequacy and vulnerability?

A true Zig Ziglar quote ” One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder”.

Trust is not easy. Confiding in others can cause their own fears to rise up and in stead of listening, sub-conscience judgement may lash out. Those we assume we should be able to confide in may not have the ability to counsel or just listen and support.

Timing is everything. Whether you lead a team, or a company or church or whatever it might be, others look to you as a pillar, maybe as a person that should not have moments of doubt. Or, worse, that is what our fears tell us.

I have my moments of self doubt. It is a danger to isolate. Don’t be an island, be human and find the outlet you need; it might even take some trial and error. Learning at its best.

“I don’t believe anyone ever suspects how completely unsure I am of my work and myself and what tortures of self-doubting the doubt of others has always given me.” 
 Tennessee Williams



I marvel at those who appear to have an abundance of friends. As I get older, key relationships and friendships become wholly dependent on trust.

To find those we can trust on an intimate level takes as much trust in ourselves as it does trust in others. First impressions can tell us as much about a person as would 100 questions.

Therein lies the need to trust ourselves.


Is it the 7 year itch? Or 7 years one day at a time Sobriety can be all of the above

7 year itch, 7 year remix, but really 7 years one day at a time. This has stuck with me every single day of sobriety. On the tough days one hour at a time or 1 moment at a time. But what amazes me most is that in the philosophy of one day at a time, 7 years has flown by.

In that period of time, I have been with two different companies, been alone, broke and without direction. I have driven on bald tires, put $5 in the tank to make it through a day, borrowed money for a subway sandwich before a meeting and lived not knowing when, as they say the “wait for the miracle” would happen.

But, by faith, even in the darkest days as it might appear from the outside looking in, I met men and women like myself, that would give the shirt off their back, their last $5 for my tank, would volunteered to drive 40 minutes one way to take me to a meeting. A spiritually connected, broken group, who had found the miracle, not waited for it, but were creating it, on day at a time, one brother or sister at a time, 7 years at a time.

Blink and 7 years later, my tank is full, the tires are new, there is money for the sandwich for all and yet, the miracle never ends if you take it one day at a time, have your fellow brother or sisters back, and most of all, have the faith that the miracle of sobriety is not like picking the lottery numbers, but a constant flow of blessing all around us, mercifully warming our chilled soul with peace that surpasses all human understanding. That a power greater than ourselves could help us should we truly desire change.

7 years ago, I was at my bottom. I could only cope by the numbness and the familiar burn of a perfectly simple drink, not messed up with ice, or mix or fruit. It was the potion that drowned the pain.

Today, pain is a sign of life. Not something to be numbed, but an awareness of our existence. A lesson plan in the making. Run toward the fear, not drown the fear. Because in drowning the fear, we drown our true authentic selves. The person God created us to be, imperfectly perfect.

Help the guy on the street, in the office, at church. The high school friend you haven’t had contact with in decades, your kids, spouse, mom, dad. Those drowning are all around us. Step out of self, stop, listen observe. Once you have stopped drowning your own pain, you will hear and feel the pain of those whom we are here to serve.

The 12 Steps

“1. We admitted we were powerless over our emotions, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to emotionally and mentally ill persons and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

If you are at a crossroad, go to an AA meeting. No judgement, just people on an even playing field.

You can contact me at

Someone cared enough to invite me to a meeting 7 years ago. I am forever grateful.

My birthday of life is 12/11/2011. A day that gave me back my life.


What did you learn?

What did you learn today?

In the business of real estate, the focus is on the art of the deal.  In getting the transaction to closing, to payday.  But where was it ever written that we get to choose only the fun parts of the art of the deal?  Where are the lessons learned that serve us and our clients in the future.  Where is the highest level of knowledge gained?  I would challenge anyone by saying in the art of the deal gone off the tracks.

When all goes well, we go through the numerous steps that we have become accustom to following.    This applies to any business, hobby, relationship or classroom experience we have.  While there are always bumps in the road, we navigate from our past experience and bring our goal to a successful conclusion.  But with this there is very little growth.

When our goal goes awry, we have a fork in the road.  A fork that will either lead to greater success, or a cycle of falling into the same cycle again, blaming someone else, calling it bad luck, or worse, telling ourselves that we are failures.

A more constructive path would hit the following thoughts:

  1. Seek a solution for the obstucle
  2. Seek the guidance of peers and leaders
  3. Isolate areas where a different action would have created a better outcome
  4. Be honest, admit any mistakes, rectify where possible
  5. Grant yourself a degree of latitude.  We are all human.
  6. Make note of how this experience can be used constructively in future goals or transactions
  7. Let go, focus on the next objective, find success quickly

When we view failed goals as text book and practical learning, we have bettered ourselves, added value to pass on to the next client and have prevented the cycle of self destruction.

Be a student of life, not a martyr of failure.  It happens to all, if we don’t see that, then we are just living in denial and mediocrity.