7 year itch, 7 year remix, but really 7 years one day at a time. This has stuck with me every single day of sobriety. On the tough days one hour at a time or 1 moment at a time. But what amazes me most is that in the philosophy of one day at a time, 7 years has flown by.
In that period of time, I have been with two different companies, been alone, broke and without direction. I have driven on bald tires, put $5 in the tank to make it through a day, borrowed money for a subway sandwich before a meeting and lived not knowing when, as they say the “wait for the miracle” would happen.
But, by faith, even in the darkest days as it might appear from the outside looking in, I met men and women like myself, that would give the shirt off their back, their last $5 for my tank, would volunteered to drive 40 minutes one way to take me to a meeting. A spiritually connected, broken group, who had found the miracle, not waited for it, but were creating it, on day at a time, one brother or sister at a time, 7 years at a time.
Blink and 7 years later, my tank is full, the tires are new, there is money for the sandwich for all and yet, the miracle never ends if you take it one day at a time, have your fellow brother or sisters back, and most of all, have the faith that the miracle of sobriety is not like picking the lottery numbers, but a constant flow of blessing all around us, mercifully warming our chilled soul with peace that surpasses all human understanding. That a power greater than ourselves could help us should we truly desire change.
7 years ago, I was at my bottom. I could only cope by the numbness and the familiar burn of a perfectly simple drink, not messed up with ice, or mix or fruit. It was the potion that drowned the pain.
Today, pain is a sign of life. Not something to be numbed, but an awareness of our existence. A lesson plan in the making. Run toward the fear, not drown the fear. Because in drowning the fear, we drown our true authentic selves. The person God created us to be, imperfectly perfect.
Help the guy on the street, in the office, at church. The high school friend you haven’t had contact with in decades, your kids, spouse, mom, dad. Those drowning are all around us. Step out of self, stop, listen observe. Once you have stopped drowning your own pain, you will hear and feel the pain of those whom we are here to serve.
The 12 Steps
“1. We admitted we were powerless over our emotions, that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to emotionally and mentally ill persons and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
If you are at a crossroad, go to an AA meeting. No judgement, just people on an even playing field.
You can contact me at Jay@JayJasper.us
Someone cared enough to invite me to a meeting 7 years ago. I am forever grateful.
My birthday of life is 12/11/2011. A day that gave me back my life.