What is the road paved with?

The answer might seem to be good intentions. Not a great or durable driving surface for a car or life. Good intentions can be misinterpreted. Good intentions can lead to disappointment. Good intentions are the stuff over promise and under deliver is made from. Good intentions are words not actions.

What is a better pavement? Actions. Live your road with actions. Which are intentions fulfilled.

Food for thought. Over scheduled, wanting something for others that they don’t want with the same conviction, is really nothing more that good intentions with a false premise.

Think before you intend. It will save a ton of wasted energy.


When we doubt

It happens everyday, sometimes it encompasses the whole day. I can say from my own experience, it is usually wrong and holds back my growth.

How do I overcome my self doubt? Prayer, people and review.

Pray is the most powerful weapon to fight doubt. God has no desire for us to live in fear and failure. He is always listening. But am I listening to Him? That is the key.

People can either feed my doubt or walk me through it. Those that tear us down, criticize and do not offer support are only keeping is from moving forward. Those how listen, empathize or sympathize, offer love and compassion and accept us as we are give us the lift we need to over come.

When I review how the ability I doubt has performed in the past, many times it shows the false reality of my doubting.

We need God, people who authentically support us and unbiased review.


Checking out is more than a plane ticket

There a so much talk about work/life balance. The thought is that it is vital to higher productivity, mental and physical health and strengthening of relationships sounds great!

I have avoided detaching from business, routine life and relaxation most of my life. There were always excuses; the big project or deal will fall apart, clients will go so,where else, I will miss opportunity…. but this was a false narrative that I learned innocently from my father. He “selflessly” worked non-stop; when very young, trips to my mom’s parents, when I as older, trips with my mom to Europe. It does matter what the reason, true or not, he was a working martyr .

So, as we all learn from the behavior of those of influence around us, I too, have lived as a working martyr. I may have gone on more “vacations”, played more golf rounds, but the sword of the work battle was always by my side.


Fear and lack of trust. Fear that all will fail, fear that I was not deserving, fear of what others might think. And lack of trust? Not trusting those around me to take care of things, fear that all would be free track upon my return, fear.

Today, I sit by the ocean. Disconnected (more than usual) from the routine. Life is going on. I have learned to trust my teammates, trust my clients and acknowledge that it is okay to disconnect. Will there be a challenge or two to take care of when I return? Of course. But no scorched earth.

The ego driven fear and lack of trust that holds us in our cycles of life is far more destructive then the small hiccups from disconnecting.

I am happy I have. It still a long road, but as time goes by, the road is getting shorted. Now is the time to take a detour or two ant breath.


Fear is the Great Deceiver

#fear is the great #deceiver. When fear grips you and smothers your confidence and fuels self doubt, then is the time to move forward toward the darkness and take back victory over the false pretenses created by past experiences. You are greatness, seize the day! #jayjasper #jayjasperassociates #orangeistruth


The razors edge difference.

What defines the difference between self doubt and invincible greatness? It is that one person who sees us as we are and believes in us. The simple phrase ” I believe in you” can be the game changer.

Let someone know that you believe in them. They need to know.


The Where The Who and the When

Being positive and believing anything we set our mind to can happen is a great ideal to have. We speak our affirmations, we write them down, we look ourselves in the mirror and say the “I am’s”, all is well and good. But where do we turn when self doubt creeps in and fear silently overcomes us? Who do we trust to share our vulnerabilities with? So many say they are our confidante’s, but who they are? And when is that time to step out of our comfort zone and ask for a listening ear, for the wisdom of others, to share of fears of failure, inadequacy and vulnerability?

A true Zig Ziglar quote ” One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder”.

Trust is not easy. Confiding in others can cause their own fears to rise up and in stead of listening, sub-conscience judgement may lash out. Those we assume we should be able to confide in may not have the ability to counsel or just listen and support.

Timing is everything. Whether you lead a team, or a company or church or whatever it might be, others look to you as a pillar, maybe as a person that should not have moments of doubt. Or, worse, that is what our fears tell us.

I have my moments of self doubt. It is a danger to isolate. Don’t be an island, be human and find the outlet you need; it might even take some trial and error. Learning at its best.

“I don’t believe anyone ever suspects how completely unsure I am of my work and myself and what tortures of self-doubting the doubt of others has always given me.” 
 Tennessee Williams